My boys met their half brother for the first time this week. He and his mother traveled here from Boston with no other plan than to see us. (well, we are going to Disneyland and Legoland and any other overstimulating pricey land we can hit this week) They also have a half sister in LA and two younger brothers just outside of Cleveland. for this week, we were only able to get the four together.All that have come forward are either single moms by choice (SMC) or two mommy families.
i don't find it odd that we are all women raising these children or that we are all of "advanced maternal age" either. for me, it feels like the natural progression of science and society. i don't mean that as a slam to men either, as i am raising two of them myself. i have a fondness for males in a way that makes me feel like they are largely misunderstood and perhaps next in line for a revolutionary shift. renaissance rebellion...or something along those lines, but i don't want to go off on that tangent just right yet.
it has been profoundly humbling to suddenly find that your very unique children are not so because here you have just watched another little guy tilt his head to one side the same way, or make that squeaky noise when they're really happy or say "mommy" in the exact same tone. their heads smell the same...THEIR FEET ARE EXACTLY THE SAME! when i hug these other children they feel like they are mine and i'm altogether taken by how protective i've immediately become. the affection has run rampant and even these little guys are all over eachother. falling into a big heap on the living room floor.
as much as i wish to scrub away that part of my sons with my own nurturing, i cannot deny that mother nature has a greater will. whomever this man is, donor 3442, he sure can make some fantastic little creatures.
oh and the women i have bonded with over these wee beans...well, they are just as extraordinary. fate has a way of kicking my ass...i could blather on about that but i'm tired and have much to do before we hit the Happiest Place On Earth tomorrow.
2 comments:
I find the story fascinating, and brilliant in so many ways. It brings up so many of the regular questions, but also (I hope) causes people to reevaluate their concepts of compassion, sharing, parenting, and family.
Amazing, all the way around, and I am so glad that there are donors out there willing to share so that people who want to be wonderful parents can be.
Joy. I read your piece. I felt it. And I felt the love and beauty and rightness woven into the fabric of your far-flung family by a precious thread called 3442.
Good for you!
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