First Words

The boys are in Kindergarten. David is really anxious to write. He knows all the letters, how to form them and now he's sounding them out to do the job. His first three words? the first three he's written without any help at all?

poop
booger
google

There you have it people. I wonder what that third word is going to mean 10 or 20 or 100 years from now?

Rules of Conduct

Just a few things i'll put out there in the universe as general rules of the road.

• Don't offer repeatedly to loan me money that you don't have.

• When i say in return, i'm not in any place to charge you full price for my services, please let me. Don't turn around and insist on paying full price, again with money you don't have and then accuse me of not working hard enough.

• In the course of three days, when you think i'm just living the high life, please understand there are a million little things that i do in a day. These things are also interrupted by last minute deadlines and requests for things that i am obliged to do because i'm doing my best to make a living.

• Please do not make the mistake of criticizing both how i spend time with my children, or when i choose to do that.

• I don't work sundays. sometimes i make exceptions, but generally, sunday is my day, my childrens day, my creative day, my god's day, my sunday paper day, my lovers day...just to name a few.

David Says

last two nights, we've been out driving. daylight savings is sort of fun for nighttime experiences because through the summer, they go to sleep right as the sun sets. it's been a crescent moon. David asked why and i went on to explain the phases of the moon. kid version. told them to watch the moon and see how it becomes slowly bigger and the full and the smaller and then disappears...yadda yadda. they were quiet. listening. then i stopped talking because i was sure they had checked out from the backseat and were no longer interested.

then david says, "i know why it does that. the darkness just takes a bite out of the moon."

i liked his explanation much better than mine.

Poverty, Greed & Vito Corleone as an Archetype

We must learn to live together as brothers, or perish together as fools. –Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is how this scam works. You are of humble means. Someone approaches you or suggests you get your kid into modeling. Maybe it’s a person in a store or a worker painting your house. They tell you that their kid has an agent & is working lots in LA. You’re given a card or a contact to this agency.

You meet with this woman who fawns over your kid(s) & says, YES! she can help them make a fortune in modeling or acting or both. WOW! Sounds great! I mean she has success stories or so she says. And the walls are lined with beautiful pictures of beautiful people. Then she says, to get started, I need $600 for acting lessons for your child. 1200 for professional portfolio pictures from a reputable LA photographer. Except that is total and utter bullshit. Most educated or intelligent people would quickly find out that is not true and slowly back away. but what if you are neither educated nor intelligent? What if you are grossly misinformed because you are poor? What if you 16 year old daughter was so excited and hopeful about this prospect that you would do just about anything to make her happy…and the allure of fame and fortune was too great for you to see thru? Completely unrealistic to you…the reader here with a computer and the ability to read, of course, but ignorance is a byproduct of poor education or less than stellar intelligence and well, I see a lot of that go hand in hand in the poorest of the poor.

So you grab on to this dream but you have no disposable income (a term I’ve come to dispise) so you do what poor people do in this town. You hold a carwash…you beg & borrow (and sometimes steal) because you want to see your children make a better life for themselves. There are few real jobs to speak of because you are poorly educated as well. (you see where I’m going with this?)

You give this woman what you can but there are no auditions coming. Nothing is moving. Then suddenly she tells you there is this fabulous producer that is in New York that wants to meet your kid…make her a big star! (also bullshit) But it will take $5000 to get her there. Oh, and now all your hopes are dashed but you are still trying to figure out a way to make it all happen. You’re still on her hook…finding whatever way to give her money for the sake of empty promises.

PEOPLE…THIS BOTHERS ME ON SO MANY LEVELS I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU.

And it’s happening right here is good ole Bakerstucky. Where the class division is so great that how would she ever know this was all a scam. It took me three minutes after hearing just the beginning of this story to see that is was a scam. Nation wide scam at that. ah, but I have a computer. I have the benefit of education. I am reasonably intelligent. She is not so fortunate a person.

Now I beg you to look it up. Google “IMTA” and take a look for yourself. this woman who shall not be named here because I am also afraid of liability, is in full swing with this particular scam. (I will say this though. Her name rhymes with BALONEY OR FELONY depending on how you pronounce it)

There are never EVER fees for an agent. There is no need for professional pictures. And this producer in new york that wants to meet your kid? He’s just a guy at a convention. Oh, and the one that referred you? the one that is making loads of money as a model? He’s a shill. paid if you bring her a “new client”.

Sigh. But no one in this one horse town seems to care. No one I have spoken to in my immediate circle is as outraged as I am. (this concerns me a little) I called the paper, nothing, newsroom? Nothing. This operates just outside of the law and unless the victim comes forward, nothing will come of it. I was told point blank by the newspaper guy that the people of this town will just throw rocks at her if she does. Really?

This just infuriates me more because, well, ya’ll seem to promote yourselves as God fearin’ church goin’ folk, right? You know who I’m talking to…you with the big truck with testicles, or you with the spotless minivan and the yes on 8 sticker. Ya’ll claim to be “bible believers” right?

Where are your Christ-like beliefs now?

Where are your beatitudes now?

“blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”

“blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth”

Go ahead and call me some bohemian chick from the beach,or crazy or bold or whatever. I’ll take all those particular monikers, thank you. This girl knows the teachings of Christ…and Buddha…and moses…and [frightened shriek] even Islam. Right now I’m thanking my lucky stars that I had teachers like Jack Hendrix who lit a fire in my belly in teaching me about civil rights, the horrors of slavery & the not so often taught now ways of government. And Mrs. Christensen who inspired my love for literature…folklore…culture, tradition, ALL religions and the dangers of societal stereotypes. Who together had for what I was hoping, many years of a combined civics class I adored. (hey, teachers…I thank you kindly for that and you jack Hendrix, for being such a great example for simply restoring beauty AND helping those other folks that I find are also greatly misunderstood and thrown away. you, dear man, are my hero)

I’m utterly grateful for my family who came from humble means and never stopped caring for people, in all their struggles. My parents were piss poor, but smart, and kind…thank the Gods. My mother who has a veracious appetite for learning, & never slow to help someone who really needs help and my father who preferred the company of gypsies & beat generation poetry to that of high society. There are parables and great lessons I learned there. They are the lessons I hope I’m smart enough to teach my boys.

True Christ-like belief is always followed by Christ-like action. Just as sexuality has nothing to do with morals & ethics, saying you belong to a church, does not make you a Christian. Good family man does not count if you are only good to your own family.

For me, I am finding enlightenment, like Buddha. I’ve come from the palatial town of Redondo beach. I’m learning about death, as my mother prepares for her journey. I’ve given up lots of “things” in order to become closer to the earth and the experiences around me…my children, my family, my love. I am seeking art, and creativity, hopefulness & love. taking every issue as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than a hardship. (cutting up a huge pine tree for example). in understanding Dharma, my compassion knows no bounds. I will help everyone along the way, beggars, kings and slave girls, alike. I am learning and while I also need to make a living to provide, I believe there is room for all. I’m also more of an activist at heart….

so I ask you, fine Christians:

Why are you not knocking down the greed outside of the temple? [the temple being your humanity]

What I can do…is speak about it here. What I can do, is perhaps approach the local schools with a flyer about what IS proper if you think your child wants to pursue Hollywood. What I CAN DO…is speak the truth with as much love in my heart for these people that are taken advantage of AND the horrible person that is fleecing them. all I can do is educate at this point. And hope that the teachers here understand and would support doing the right thing. If they don’t then I will take it to the streets. Gorilla education at it’s best. (hey, anyone want to put out some flyers?)

“And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.” (Or love depending on the translation you are reading…or both if you are me) – The Bible

All I CAN do right now is take some cool photos of these girls for free and hope that they feel good about themselves enough to get thru this and feel a sense of hope.. Show them where to send them so they might get actual representation and let them all know that there are no guarantees for fame and riches. And wish them love and luck on their journey.

If I could, I’d march right in and give that horrible agent a stern talking to, and I still might, but I’m so furious about this right now, I’m afraid I might just punch her square in the face. And where is the love and charity in that? HA!

Like i have time for this....

Tonight i'm doing wyatt's homework. he came home with a backpack with a stuffed lion named simba, simba's blankie and a journal detailing simbas adventures with the other little children in his class.

oh, and i'm so annoyed. why do they spring this crap on us parents??? why? why? i had no idea i was going to have to detail simba's day with us. so i'm going to be a complete smart ass and tell how simba got into the trash, jumped on the furniture, swung from the light fixture, antagonized the robots and ran with scissors. little fucker better not end up at our house again....

to be made to feel...

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." — Maya Angelou

ashley just posted this quote and it so struck me that i have to repost...i have so much going on that i scarcely have the capacity to organize it into a post. but since i've long abandoned this blog...really, i found it rocking and banging in the corner again...i will find a way to expand on this theme in the next day or so.

one man's junk is another man's toys.....

I walk into the boys room and see that Wyatt has just about emptied the toy box onto his bed. i point down to the pile.

"hey, what's all this junk!"

Wyatt quick as a flash yanks down his pants, grabs his nuts and says, "No mommy, this my junk. Those are my toys!"

and now ya know.