The First Audition.....
I wasn’t expecting the harshness, first off. That is something I certainly see happening with adults, but no way did I see it coming as I walked my not-yet-three year olds into an overcrowded casting office. The two twenty-somethings checking in seemed quite overwhelmed. The young man pointed to a sheet and told me to sign in. Neither asked for anything nor did they even look up really. Rather than march right up and let them know it was our first time (which in hindsight might have been a better route), I decided to quietly observe. The guy was trying to take snapshots of some of them. Seemed like there were too many people to have a clear wall…soon that was abandoned altogether. Then some time later I overheard the young lady tell someone else to sign in and fill out a blah-blah card….so I grabbed one, looked at it, had many questions, but the two staff were more than busy shuffling papers and what not. I tell ya, I tried for the better part of 10 minutes trying to get another person to make eye contact with me to no avail. i then decided writing just their names and the agents would be enough and handed them over with their photos…... There was no direction really…not even from the seasoned parents that for whatever reason could not, or would not make eye contact.
There were perhaps a dozen or so children crowded around a play table with both parents and adult actors as well, in a small waiting room meant to accommodate a third of that. It was very hot and at times very loud. The rest had spilled out to the main corridor with many seated on the floor along the walls. I would guess at the height of it there were perhaps 40-50 kids and twice as many adults…easily. The studio was only using one room for all applicable actors (two men, a mom and child is what the synopsis called for).
We sort of wander around looking for a place to land. Walk the length of the place and around the circular center half wall. Wyatt is counting off the numbers on the door. The boys want to keep moving and there isn’t anywhere to sit other than far away. We finally sit on the floor and give them a snack. A man that looks like what I describe as the rhythm section for Santana and mommy honey says is more like ‘the remains of Stevie Ray Vaughn’ (both are correct, you decide which one is funnier), pokes his head out the door and yells, “can someone make sure they can say their first and last name and age, because none of them seem to know that”. So the young lady repeats; they will need to be able to say their first and last name and how old they are. So could we please make sure they can do that….we practice….it’s really funny because our last name does not exactly roll off the tongue of a not-yet-three year old.
The boys want to go back into the tiny kid room. I leave mommy honey there with Wyatt and walked David around a bit. He’s much more restless if there is too much noise or too many people, particularly if they don’t acknowledge him (he’s a talker).Also, mommy honey had made the mistake of telling him he was going to ride a bicycle so every time the door opened and he saw the shiny red tricycle in there, well…what can I say…he’s not three. At some point they began to line up little boys in groups of 3-4 along the walls. And there they stood for what seemed like an eternity. Nothing seemed to be moving. (it was the only time I heard another parent complain) I took david up front, to the bathroom, and outside for a bit and back in. We pass the window to the very small kids waiting room and I see mommy honey has become the pied piper with a handful of children playing with her. Wyatt has retreated to a small area right up next to her where he is playing by himself (he does that when he’s insecure)…then it’s back around and around and around the half round wall with David, admiring the little ikea stools I also have in my studio. At one point we passed a very serious looking slight woman with dark hair and glasses that reminded me of my sister….i saw her later at the check in table, giving the youngsters a firm talking to. She didn’t seem too pleased (I’m thinking it was the actual casting agent??).
I took a look over at the check-in to see if perhaps our cards were coming up soon, because the boys are getting beyond restless and things are progressing rather slowly only to see quite a few before us with ours somewhere in a stack of applicants off to the side. It was getting close to 5…and then the door swung open to the young man yelling for the next group. “Michael, Johnny, sam & blah-blah! You’re up! Come on!” and these little guys kinda hesitated (shit, I would have run the other way) . then he sort of barks at them the same sort of command only louder and that’s when I decided I’d had enough (and I think David too). I have to plead with him to go into the noisy kid room again and I tell mommy honey that we should go. Then he yells “yeah honey, let’s get outta here, let’s GET OUTTA HERE.” Loud enough that the whole room sort of stops and looks at us.
I could not, in good faith, feed my children to the wolves on this day. ‘cause that’s what it was starting to feel like if I would have let them go into that little room. I cannot even image what was going through David’s head…his imagination is greater than mine.
That is the narrative of the day. Now, here are my thoughts on it all….
The most unnerving thing for me was I’ve never been in a room with that many children and mothers gathered, where not a single, passive, friendly conversation took place. I also wasn’t prepared for the competitive nature of these things. It’s quite palpable. I suppose the upside of that is I will be better prepared the next time?? i don't know if i'm down with a next time. In talking to my mate this morning we both made some decisions about how to better cope with that kind of situation if faced with it again…big IF here. Her plan is to concentrate on the children and spend her time in play (she’s rather good at that) because it was her assessment, there was very little interaction between the kids and their parents. I feel if we bring plenty of distractions, toys, food, and most importantly, A PLAN (a reasonable time table for audition and a plan for exit if it does not meet that time) it would be less stressful. Also I think last minute calls for audition like this one are probably not for us until the boys are older.
We also need to discuss the various ways we can prepare the boys before they even get to an audition in a way that will not ultimately affect their personality or well being. We need to find a way to describe what is happening and what they are going to be doing. I feel like we totally didn’t think of that. At the same time, I don’t want to turn them into little robot children. I'm also very clear on following their lead. The boys are going to dictate how this all goes and i'm completely fine with that....
you're probably wondering at this point why i'm doing this at all...right? the most i want out of this is a little something for the scrapbook and couple extra bucks in the college fund for them. i have several people lined up to knock some sense in me if they feel i'm out of line in any way. trust me, they will.....
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